the heartbeat of my soul

2010-02-23T21:03:00.001-08:00

maybe everything does happen for a reason

keeping my fingers crossed

and hoping for the very best

;)

2010-02-16T21:56:00.000-08:00

YOU DONT LOVE A WOMAN BECAUSE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER....

2010-02-15T05:13:00.000-08:00

CRASHED BURNED OUT!

sigh....

i m worried....i was never as troubled like this

the constant tought of my future keeps disturbing me

just like a nightmare

sigh....

feeling so victimised

more like discriminated....

heesh....

even with so many people around me

i feel lonely

i dont even feel this lonesome even when i m all alone by myself

2010-02-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

not given the chance to speak up

not given the chance to set my future

not given the chance to be heard

when will you ever hear me....

ooh wait its already too late

wat can i say bout my future wen u alredi decided it for me

:'(

heesh...

2010-01-30T08:12:00.000-08:00

forgive and forget....

its easy to say

but hard to live it

wen i thought i forgot...

i realise i haven't wen i have blur visions of it...

but one things for sure

i have not forgiven...

it might take some time or perhaps

never....

sigh

dissapointment is worst then regret...

2010-01-29T18:32:00.000-08:00

is the sky really the limit?

no...

the only limit is our soul

ourself

2010-01-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

U have no idea how perfect u made me feel

=D

2010-01-28T02:39:00.000-08:00

oooh my baby!!

she is cmin back!

finally

i missed you so much

nw my holidays will seem more meaningful!

love u so much!

:D

2010-01-26T22:17:00.000-08:00

In the end is the small things that we remember,

little imperfections which seems perfect for us,

after all little things do matter

and the smallest things in life is mostly remembered and cherised

2010-01-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

flowers taken only weeds left....

dreams

2010-01-25T21:54:00.000-08:00

I miss school so much i m starting to have dreams of it

i had such a sweet dream last nite

all the 5 lilians will become std 1 kids and will be studying in marian convent

LOL

we were all small kids in tat uniform

neways dreams are always meant to be weird...

2010-01-23T00:25:00.000-08:00

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean. Tears from the depth of some divine despair Rise in the heart and gather to the eyes, In looking on the happy autumn-fields, And thinking of the days that are no more.

i REALLY MISS SCHOOL!

2010-01-20T21:03:00.000-08:00

sometimes we have to think about ourselves too

but does tat makes us selfish?

UNFAIR!

2010-01-20T03:32:00.000-08:00

wen i learned to accept the destiny tat i hated

getting used to the destiny.... tat i didnt want

thinking its ok to give in and sacrifice

i slowly started to learn to smile again

but suddenly

wen i found out the truth bout it...

how nastily it lied to me

how it lied to the one who brought him in to this world

wen i feel so deepressed and down to learn bout the truth tat hurts me so much

how wud they feel

i cnt even tell them

i cnt hurt them...

they trusted him....

if i was to tell them they will rip apart

i cnt aford to see them saddened

again by it

its so unfair

i m crashed burned broken and dying

why must i give in for some1 like it

WHY?!

why does god always do this to me

i deserve so much more

i wasnt the selfish one all this while

i wasnt the dissapointment

i didnt deserve tat hit

IT WAS HIM!

i will never forget this

all i wanted was to be happy b4 i leave home

but i cnt even breathe

dont i deserve a pinch of happiness

where must i go to beg for happiness?

i never felt this lonesome at all

the person tat i always turn to

is the person i m trying to protect

from the regret,dissapointment....

if my future crumbles against my dreams

i will never forgive all those who caused it...

i might even end everything

i m at the breaking point

i wonder if it evens feels bad for lying

feels bad for cheating....

it disgusts me...

:D

2010-01-17T07:48:00.001-08:00

ppl like u

have many secrets untold unsaid

it takes a strong heart to carry all tat weight

but u do drop it out

to some1

but u dont release everything

but

and

a willful person remains

with some burden u still manage to draw a smile

tat seems to be wat u have for the reality

but otherwise

it may be hidden

the sound of the soul....

2010-01-17T06:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's goals, dim memories.
Dark saddened eyes, blurring with tears.
Painful scars borne,
Futures crumble when doubt appears.

No brightly lit hope envisioned,
When following after harsh words.
Hurt soul splits in twain, partitioned.
Swooned by appeal when numbness lured.

Apologies made, never bought.
Price paid turned out far too costly.
Though never known what would be wrought
Must walk into the night softly.

One wish, only to be released.
Granted now receive this token.
Words written in rhyme, dreams deceased.
When promises made . . . .were broken.

sigh....

2010-01-02T00:16:00.000-08:00

disturbed...
i really need to talk to someone....
=(

2009-12-30T00:15:00.000-08:00

drowning
bt yet smilling
as
she breathes within the ocean of joy
free from pain and
the missing piece
from her heart
they are coming
just a few more days
i shall sink
to the bottom of this
ocean
=)

'its all in your hands' BULLCRAP!

2009-12-27T23:26:00.000-08:00

sometimes there may be more than 2 choices
but at times
we are left with none
forced to do it
while others remain
guilt free
forced to fake a smile
forced to LIE!
forced to pretend
forced to be a puppet
the best is to remain silent
at least it wont kill any further
even if end of the day the monster that grows within
murders us
worst
than any possibilities
such a heinious crime
done
how can one draw a smile
while the other holds his guilt....

its just seems to be unfair...

2009-12-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

sigh...
i had so many things planned after spm
but ntin turned out well
my life was supposed to be fun after spm
sigh...
its all upside down
i m deepressed
lonely
bored
sad
i deserve so much more
i dont deserve this
i worked my ass of during SPM
i deserve at least a break or a vacation
but nope i didnt get any of it
parents left me away to sweden
leaving me here all alone
with no one...
i hardly get out of the hse
stuck within the 4 walls for almost 2 weeks
and this is never wat i wanted
i want to be happy and have some fun
all i do is
house chores
computer
workout
and tv
wat a shitty life
and all of this again
within the 4 walls
sigh....
maybe its just sheer luck
dumped alone always
i wished i had some1 to listen to me
My frens are busy
all scattered here there and everywhere...
sigh...
words can't explain wat i feel
LONESOME!!
it sucks
drowned in deepression
i hate my life
and i m nt having a gud time at all!!
so if any1 thinks i m enjoying myself nope i m nt!
i hate it!
i rather sit for SPM again
at least i will have something to stray my mind off....
its just so unfair
i just want a family holiday....i want a holiday
this isn't it...
i need to distress
its all still in there...
i want it out
=(

after ages of sleep she's rose frm the bed of boredom and stress...

2009-12-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME....
I had all the time after SPM to blog but i guess i was just way too
LAZY!
events that happened after SPM

that nite
had a sorrtta party at moven peak
i had fun

then since then it was me and comp ooh and ofcourse my tv
watching hindi soaps...hehe

went out for movies
new moon
and
avatar

I HAD a gud time watchin both of the movies
eventhough new moon was draggy
but it was romantic and depressing

OH well life's pretty much boring
xmas
it was different this year
reli different

neway

new year is catching up
i have no idea wats in store during new year
i want to have some fun during new year
ooh well i will be missing my parents alot
they will only be back on the 2nd january 2010
='(
for the momment
right now
LIFE SUCKS!
I HATE IT
bUT ITS pretty OK at TimeS

i wonder wats in for me in 2010....
hmmm...
wonder never ceases...

back to square one....

2009-09-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

back to school again tmrw

back to waking up at 5.30 am

back to sleeping in class

back to late night stay ups

back to eye bags and dark circles

and the best part is...

back to seeing my frens and buds

back to the meeting in the upper hall with sel smashing her talent on the piano

back to chit chatting in the lower hall during the break

back to laughs

back to fun

how much it hurts at time sometimes its just worth everything
the tears and pain is nothing compared to the joy i will never get again
as form 5 is once in a lifetime

ghosh i feel so sad
i have 2 more months in smc and then its over for high school
i just wish i dont have to leave school
i will miss all my dear frens
sel,veno,bel,krity,lilo,este,pavitra,sab,shyama,ghij,and the rest
i will miss them for sure
they are a part of me
sigh....
life is so uncertain..i wonder will i ever see them again after high school

wat if one second one is laughing, joking,crying,and seem so alive
and next all we see is that person is gone...lying there with no expression
life is indeed a game
sometimes very cruel
sometimes fun
neways i m gonna treasure every moment with everyone around me
my family and pals
i cant wait for tmrw

2009-09-26T04:52:00.000-07:00

had an outing with a few buds last thursday

li tng

este

n

ema

we went bowling

shopping

chit chat

ate

and home

pratically we had fun.
bowling was a new experience for me.and guess wat i got a strike!! woah!!
but it was sheer luck...the rest went to the 'longkang' hahaa!!
it was fun!

saturday

finally i bought my graduation dress.
actually dresses
i got 2 dress one is blue the other is black
but i plan on the blue the black is for later use...

wave....hit!!

2009-09-23T00:31:00.000-07:00

*tired

*shopping for graduation

*unfortunately 10 stores didnt satisfy my mum

going around again next week

ghosh!!!

the uglier side of shopping!

a day out

2009-09-20T05:37:00.000-07:00

well today i went out for lunch with shalu and a few buddies.myself,preyah,shobna,shalu,sasi,his cousin anand and bawanee...however bawanee didnt stay long.i guess she was rushing some where.

all of this people are like college dudes and dudette,so i kinda felt awkward in a way as i m the youngest there and the only one going to school.however it was not so bad hanging out with them.it was kinda fun and funny as well.

first preyah fetched me and shalu then we went to get shobby.then off we went to AB. it was funny as preyah was missed a turn.but we made to AB. There we met sasi and his cousin. the place was crowded. we ordered our food..the girls had nun and the dudes had rice.later bawanee joined in.then off she went.thx shalu aka for the treat!!=)

then we went to sidewalk ice-cream parlour.there again we ate. hahaa!! preyah's ice-cream was huge.the guys just joined in for bout 10 minutes. then again shalu treated me! haizh..aka aka...perhaps when i work i shall treat her too.well thats a long long way more.
then we went to shobby's hse.her house is so nice.and her hamsters are so cute.we were talking there for sometime then off we went back home.

it was fun to hang out with them.something different.
thx peeps! =)

well when i got home mum's long lost school fren came over from kl. mum was excited.again i ate.i had a slice of sandwich.then i got this horrid migrain i just went flat on my bad.then got up bout 7 and had my shower.then i ate again!!

ghosh i have been eating so much today!
neways maybe my body needs energy or watsoever.
neways wen i get some time i will be uploading the pics from 'smitha'

till then i have 'FASHION' awaiting me.its a movie.

2009-09-19T17:34:00.000-07:00

going out with shalu and a few buds of hers.

to AB(anada bhavan)

since its the 9 god festival so thats the only place we cn get some vegetarian food.hopefully.

cant wait to see her.

had a bad dream

scary

it was about dinosaurs invasion at my taman

so damn freaky

it seemed so real

i got up at 8 because of it

ishh..

the past break..

2009-09-19T03:27:00.001-07:00

looks like this raya holidays i will be going no where.but it doesnt really matter at all because when my sister came back last july my entire family went for a long vacation to penang,kelantan and camerons twice....all in one month!
well i sure did miss lots of tuitions and school.but it was fun.i really had an awesome time with my family and i really got super attached to my sis..it was a venry nice feeling..but its not like we werent close b4 this..its just that nw we cn talk bout the real stuff,i guess coz i m 17 nw. well here's some pic's from camerons,penang and kelantan =)

yay!!

2009-09-18T08:17:00.001-07:00

finally!!

the holidays is back!!

shalu's return to ipoh adds an extra tinge of excitement!!

its been long since i saw her...ever since she left to JB to pursue her career

well for this raya holidays
i plan to do a few things

1. hang out with my buds

2.hang out with shalu

3.hunt for a graduation dress

4.revise my studies

5.learn to cook a proper meal.

6.spend some time with my bed and my blanket
i've got to recover all those lost sleeps...

AND

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL MUSLIMS!!

???smoking???

2009-09-16T07:51:00.000-07:00

well its just a thought that hit me a few days ago,it started with this advertisment i saw on tv..it was very sad and dissapointing too.I as an anti-smoking person went deep into that advertisment,but i didnt have the time to blog about it as i was tied up with my exams.

when i see a person smoking...the first thing that hits my mind is...eeeewww...
smoking isnt just bad for health,it also ruin a persons image and they leave a bad impression of themselves on others.

to me..i just hate smokers..even the 'once in the blue moon' type
smoking doesnt just affect the person doing it but it has a even more tremendous effect on the people around smokers,second-hand smokers suffer from others habit.this just doesnt seem right.its so unfair.and this is all to be blamed to the smokers...don't they ever realise that smoking isnt just injurious to health...it is also an inderect form of disrespect towards god....god gave us life for us to appreciate it and enjoy it...not to smoke the hell out and burn ur own life...

despite the numerous advertisments and warnings about smoking...the smokers never seem to get that fact.

i m not discriminating or jeering at anyone...its just a friggin bad habit...it leads to no where..there is no light at the end of the tunnel for smokers.

.

.

finally!!

2009-09-16T00:14:00.000-07:00

TRIALS IS FINALLY OVER!!

HOORRRRAYYY!!

MORE SLEEPING HOURS

MORE COMP

STILL GOT TO STUDY.....

feelings....

2009-09-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

i feel damn lazy
well maybe its because of the never ever ending exams....ghosh!!
i have 2 more killer papers...chemi and phys
i just want to get over it asap!!

neways my misery aint going to end after the trials
it will only end after the 'REAL DEAL'
I am really keen in doing well in my spm
i need to do well
because i want satisfaction
i want to see how far i cn actually go
wats my level
i m as good as other says(family and frens)
well this actually spurrs me to do well

and i have no idea why i m crapping

maybe i m feeling a little crappy to000...

feeling guilty too
for spending the entire morning sleeping like a pig!!
talking bout that
i didnt study then so i got to go now
later bloggie...

footsteps of my soul...

2009-09-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

my sis just left 2 russia.and i m missing her a lot.to top it off,my cousin,shalu has also left to JB to work in EY as an accountant....feel so lonely without them....well at least i m occupied with studies...having my trials nw
so far it was good i finished 5 papers last week..i have 4 more to go....boy oh boy...i can't wait for it to be over...at least then i will get some real sleep and rest.

i miss my blog its been so long since i got it updated....
bye bloggie

signing off

happy 17th !!

2009-08-09T04:42:00.000-07:00

the sheperds pie...
in davids dine...
me and sis..and the nachos...
camwhoring in the car..lol
my gift form bel,krity,veno and sha
well 5th august which was last wednesday..was my b'day!! i had a b lasting birthday...it was different... i was so overjoyed on my bday!

my buddies gave me
a scheaffer mechanic pencil with my name engraved on it!! awesomeness tq...veno,bel.krity and sha!
my dear lilo gave me a lulu belle hand bag..it was lovely thx lilo!!

my mum gave me two body glove tops...i love it...cz i choose it in penang..haha!! but still she got it 4 me!
my cousin...shalu aka gave me a pair of gorgeous earings frm vincci!! i love it aka!! tq!

my aunty gave me a bracelet...it was really nice... my bro and sis still owes me something..grrr..lol!

well right after school i went bak and in the evening bout 6 we left our hse to the temple...well u c..my b'day was an auspicious day..as it was a 'pornami' full moon and the day i was actually born..so my mum decided to have a prayer in the temple...all of us were there..but my dad wasn't..he was still stuck with work...but he did make it for dinner at david's dine right after the prayers...my..my.. the food was good..typical homemade western burger and scrumptious food...emmmm....tasty!!

mj!michael joseph jackson rest in peace...

2009-06-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

well at first when my mum told me that mj aka the king of pop passed away i was like so wateva la..

but then after watching tv and reading the news paper that was just filled with mj's pic and history i felt really sad..i was never a fan of mj..but after watching his dance moves...woah!he is an awesome dancer wat more a singer..

in school me and my buds were talking and discussing bout mj and we realised that, we had an exteremly wrong perception of him

first of all he did plastic surgery cz he got 3rd degree burns while doing a pepsi add secondly he bleached himself cz he had a kind of skin disease that leaves white patches all over his skin and it affected his perfomances and thirdly he is so not a child molester the kid whom claimed to be molested was asked to say so cz apparently tat kids dad wanted money and mj paid 15 million just to settle the whole probe.. and mj loves his kid!why the hell he wants to kill his child...he just wanted to show his kid to everyone..and he build a whole park just for the kids....

well i m kinda guilt ridden cz i held on a tottaly wrong perception bout mj.. sorry mj...

and after mj left this world more people are understanding him..but wats the point he's gone.. well he is sure to rock and roll in heaven! live on mj!

something that caught my heart!

2009-06-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

loving you is like breathing how can i stop?

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.

My heart longs for you, my soul dies for you,
my eyes cry for you, my empty arms reach out for you.

Love Is Running Into His Arms
Colliding With His Heart
And Exploding Into His Soul

There is a saying, 'Out of sight, out of mind.'
But how can that be true?
You are not here, yet I can't get you out of my mind.

No one is perfect
until you fall in love with them.

why the sudden rush of love quotes?
its not as if i m in love..but i see it as a beautiful thing
its not a thing,
there's more to it..its like a middle person that connects two hearts to become one soul.
i see love everyday

in my school
i love all my buds they are my other family

in my home
my parents shower their love in the form of love,care and protection

on the road
i always see almost 3 to 4 pairs of couples a day..mostly teens

pratically..love comes in different forms..it depends on one's perceptive to see what is love all about.
love isnt bout having a mate..
love matters when u have someone to really care about and they do the same back to u..it doesnt mean that person has to be the special dude or duddete..

back to school!

2009-06-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

school was ok..but the morning assembly on that monday..killed me..esp our beloved princi's speech which is filled with crap..sat down untill got a leg cramp..cis!hahaa..neways..here it goes..

-got back some results
some good some bad
caught up with some stories and gossips with veno,krity and bel..haha.their holidays..well veno did..
the rest of us were stranded on ipoh island..
we were sitting in our class during EL(litreature)since me and veno,li tng,bel adn the MIC troops dropped EL we were permitted to sit in the class and no need to go to the language room..
so instead of finishing our mod maths homework..we started talking bout food
chinese sea food..my we were so excited..

the main spots that we think is good

* tambun restaraunt (veno)

* sun marpoh (me,lilo,and veno)

*east ocean (me)

* kuala sipitang(me and lilo)

and we also made a very wild discovery
we found a box
a white box
rectangular in shape

we found a CONDOM box
eeew!
it was under chee kee's desk...and chee is a angel..a pure brahmin kid..but she's chinese la..
it was really funny
cz it was written as "polka loocca"
we were kinda shocked and made really funny assumptions....

so sad the sunway trip to kl has been cancelled!
we were like
'oh crap'
cz it was like the trip all of us we going..cz all the besties were making it to kl..like a hang out before SPM
cc cancelled pulak!
neways we will have a chance...
hopefully
haha!
neways i had taekwando today!
god! the trainer(it was a she cz master was busy) killed all of us!we had to redo and redo all the 5 major kicks..even diana was exhausted
esther's mom dropped me back..
i had my shower and felt better...
watched tv!

ate!

did my toe nails
(blackish red and burgundy)

and nw blogging
aites i g2g
till the next blog!
adious!

holidays

2009-06-13T18:39:00.001-07:00

the list of things i did during my holidays

*watched tv

*blogged

*surf the net

*facebooking

*shopping

*watched movie

*sleep

well this holidays i pratically spent it all own my own..my family couldn't make the trip to kl because my bro's exams was on and yadayayayadadadaa....

well i didnt study..nt even a bit..k i think i did...half chap of bio and studied by attending tuitions.
i do regret cz i didnt study...but for the mid terms i did my form 4 stuff so nw i just got to refresh and practice..

neways yesterday was an awesome day.it was my grandma's bday..so i had to wake up quite early...and off we went to the temple...there we met with my uncle's family...and shalu came too...well if she wasnt cmin i wasnt too....

so after praying..we went over to my uncle's hse...and ate breakfeast...
we left there bout 10.40am..

then bout 1.15pm shalu aka cm to pick me up...
we were going to watch nite at d museum 2.
so in d midst of waiting for the show to start,cz u see the show was at 2.20pm..so we had plenty of time in our hand..
so we did some mouse shopping(for the comp),nail polish shopping and some eye wash...heheee
then bout 2.10pm sasi came and off we went to watch the movie..
my...my.. i tell u the place was packed..super packed..we got a front seat...well at least we got a seat..
the movie was hillarious!as usual i love the monkey slapping scene!so freaking funny!
poor night guard he gt a double dose this time..hahahaa!!

well after the movie i had a a neck pain..but it was just temporary...then we went to chatter kopitiam to eat...i and shalu had our lunch and tea...sasi i dunno but since he said he eats every 3 hours......he has a high metabolism rate..
so we talked and bullied my poor cousin..hahahaa..sorry aka..ggeehehehe..
then sasi dropped me and shalu back to my hse....we chit-chatted for a while mre..and off shalu went home..

i can't belive it that 2 weeks of holidays has just flied....ghosh!time moves so fast..or perhaps..the earth is orbitting around at a very high rate...neways i m nt a scientist..to confirm that hypothesis...
tmrw is school..i m glad i m going back to school..missed my buds!aiyuh gotta see all my wounderful exam papers..haizzh...

my trials is cmin close.i
gotta start my marathon tmmrw...which = 'the return of the dark rings'

creepy...weird...

2009-06-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

in whole,today was the far most creepiest day i ever had in the entire 2009,so far...
well it all started out with dad's birthday celebration.

well before that bout dad's birthday..
*fun

*made him a cream cheesecake

i helped my mum to do it.she prepared the entire ingredients and the specific amount.
i just did the barter as instructed.the amazing part is..this cake doesn't require the use of a microwave and its a vegetarian cake.so pratically it was a piece of cake for me...
cake was ok...

*got dad a ipod for his birthday

*uncle mohan and atae came,aunt ranita and uncle selva too

*the little celebration ended at 2.30a.m today.

K!back to the CREEPY part.

i had bio tution near my hse.so it finished bout 9.45 pm,dad picked me as my bro went to celebrate his tears of joy after completing his exams..
so as soon as i got home i watched house
the i went on9 as usual

as i was busy surfing the net,suddenly....i could smell,cigar...i recognized this smell,it was the same smell when my late grandpa used to smoke cigar....
the hair on my hands stood up,i felt a cold shiver run down the back of my spine...
i acted all macho and cool outside,inside i was like'murugga,murugga'(praying to god)
so i slowy went down to tell my mum,awhen i reached down the climax was a killer one!
cc dad and the uncles were having cigars..i told my mum and everyone started laughing...aiyoyo...these peoples were the tata's(grandpa)

k then i went back and closed my eyes on my bed...the next thing i realised was...i was screaming in pain...
someone or something pulled all my nails,fingers and toes...and then i managed to escape from my bedroom,as i was running down the stairs,i bumped into a doctor..i have no idea who is that,
bt kinda hot =) hehee
and then i told him wat happend he didnt believe me...i cried and begged him to believe me,
and the next thing
i was drenched in sweat and opened my eyes only to realise it was a nightmare,and i saw a green light flashing,i gt scared!cc it was my dad's handphone charging!heryoo!it was dark,everyone was in bed...so i aso slept back..
then in the morning i gt up quite late,which is a usual routine this holidays,bt today a bit later..
so my mum was telling me bout a book fair held by MPH.so dad dropped us off to jusco before leaving to work.we went and 'WOW!' wat a great offer,so cheap i tell you...i bought back nothing!not even a single book!mum told me to get one particular book i have been longing for..its by cecilia ahern,where rainbows end.it was almost the same price,like RM 4 or RM 5 cheaper.wats the point..its not even a sale!
so we did a little shopping...and i bumped in to wei jiet AKA li tng's ahem..ahem....
he was alone... lost but claimed not to be...he said his familywas the lost one.haizh...
so later bout 1 we went back my bro picked us up.
so at bout 2.30 or so my bro went out to meet up with his old frens..
he has this habit of leaving his shoes outside...really nice shoes...
i dozed off at 3 and got up at 5..hehee
suddenly my mum yelled at me
'ramithaa!',ramithaa!
i run down
she told me that someone came in and took his shoes

missing items

*bro's nike shoe RM 150

*bro's puma shoes RM 100

*dad's golf shoe RMxxx(no idea)
well dads shoe was kinda old,i wonder why thoose bafoonfied idiots took it..no brains la

well my mum told me that she was on the phome when the incident took place.
she heard a motorcycle outside the house...but she thought it was the neighbour...
later after that she looked out the window and saw the gate outside open..she ran down and saw all the slippers and shoes scattered...
thats when she called me...
i opened the door..thx god i didnt keep any of my shoes outside only 2 pairs of my flip flops worth 4 bucks...
i also discovered a new box of ciggarate and a lighter...i wonder why they left the ciggrate box,all brand new,untouched....its like a trade perhaps for the shoes..neways we threw it into the drain!
SMOKING IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH!
well hallelujah!
i spend most of my money on clothes which are safely kept...
and unexposed...
well perhaps the economy is so low..that people are in desperate conditions,till they are willing to steal shoes...
its a sort of a superstition that when one losses their shoes all their bad sins and 'SOI'is removed
so pratically in terms superstition the thief is now burdened with extra sins!
serves him right!
i guess my bro is kinda upset..seemed like that
i feel really bad for him cz he loved that shoes
haizh...
i guess he will be over it according to time..

my first!

2009-06-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

today was the first time i actually made an entire meal all by myself!i feel so proud of myself....
i m the one that fears the kitchen and also hates the kitchen for some inappropriate reasons...;)
neways it all started when i stole the newspaper from my dad..well my dad has this rather pecculiar habit of reading the newspaper while having his delicious cup of coffee made by my mum.he gets glued to the chair in the kitchen and never lets the paper go till he finishes every single line and word in the paper.sundays is one of the days i actually read the paper.so today before he got up i grabbed the paper.but then later he came asking for it,so i gave him only one portion of the paper the part that is filled with all the childish and cheap politics and other issues,and i took the star mag section.as i was flipping the pages i came upon an italian recipe.its a sandwich.it looked really good,and the ingredients were all ready in my hse.as i didnt have breakfast i decided to do my own meal,brunch.i went down and told my mum that i was to do it,she laughed...i expected it anyways..
so the ingredients is as follows:
1.an egg(fried)
2.bacon(i used burger meat)
3.button mushroom(4,sliced)
4.two slice of toast bread
5.sprinkle some mozarella cheese or normal cheese
6.ground some fresh pepper or the ready made one would do the trick.

i grilled the burger meat,it took bout 10 to 15 minutes to get it fully cooked.then i sliced the button mushroom and grilled it to,i removed all the water from it,i dont want anything flying out of the pan..would i.then i fried the egg and toasted the bread,as that was done i arangged the grilled mushroom the meat and the egg and to finish it i added some black pepper and salt.
walah!my sandwich was ready!my...my...it was good!
u should try it!

the mix of everything

2009-05-31T08:11:00.000-07:00

well i just finished my mid term exams
and this will be the last mid term examination i will be sitting for in my life =(
its nt that i like it...its just the fact that my schooling life is coming to an end,and i dont want it to end.the best thing in my life so far has always been my journal in my secondary school...new people,new bonds,new relationships built,self discovery,realisation and a whole new experience thats worthless...
neways the analysis that i did based on my subjects

mod maths-ok and partially screwed
ad maths-dont bother to know
bio-i cn survive
chemi-i hope i cn survive
physics-cn la
sejarah-pls pls i want to survive
bm-ok ok ok
bi-yipee
moral-drilled the paper
pj-ok and stupid
siviks-wat the crap!

today i was watching tv,as it is the holidays...it was bout all the natural disasters especially
lightning and tornado
well i have always been afraid of all this natural disaster.even when it rains like super heavy and when the wind makes the oooooo phooooo noises,i just hide under my study desk or under my bed.but nw i cn fit in there anymre.too giant edy.hehe

a few stuf i learnt bout lightning.

-it cn explode a gas paip and cause the hse to explode
-it cn set the hse on fire
-it cn flow through the fuis box outside the hse and flow throught the window and boom crash through the window.

i always have this fear a phobia
i hate going to the kitchen becoz of the stove.i am very scared to on the stove.and sometimes i cn smell gas and my imagination starts to control me and i cnt control it controlling me.

neways everyone have their own fear.

my dear sister will be here in malaysia in a month and i cant wait for her arrival!
it will be so much of fun
thats the time we will be holidaying as a family a complete one
all the shopping we do
all the crazy pictures we take
haha
i cant wait for another dose of it
cnt wait to see her,to catch a momment with her
but when she comes back i will be tied up with my studies as my spm trials is on september.
i hav to plan ahead
ghosh its going to be a headache...

my bro and my cousin sis shalu will be having their exams tmrw
well they have really worked their axons out!
i hope and wish them all the best!
and also to thoose i know that r in the same shoes as them
i cant wait for shalu to finish her exams
then i will get a glimpse of her dimples

2009-05-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

to my fellow readers
i ramithaa naidu will not be blogging for some time
as i am tied up with exams for a period of 3 weeks
i am pretty busy
and lazy
and before i get into writting more stuff i better stop
aiyoh!i want to write so much bt i g2g my dear mr sejarah is missing me
ciao blog
i miss u bloggie=(

sneezeey snoozeey

2009-04-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

well i m down with a flu.i tell u this flu really has something against me.it keeps attacking me,thus ruining my life which affects my concentration which leads to me nt studying.....
ghosh!
mr flu what d heck did i do to u!
stupid flu!
neways i always wonder why god created

ants and mosquitoes

usually mornings are the period where my brain does lots of thinking and dreaming too...
especially after a hot bath....
yea so i was wondering that
if god didnt create ants and mosquitoes
humans would not have came up with pesticides
and the ozone layer would never thin up..

but then in the other hand if those creatures were not created
the whole ecosystem will be destroyed
cz these insects are the food for fish,(the insects larvae)so when no insect larvae=no fish=no fish curry=no life

k it seems pretty complicated and silly
but the conclusion i came up with is

GOD DOES EVERYTHING FOR A REASON WETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT....

today is my uncle's B'day,so mum is having my uncle's family over and aunt ranita and uncle selva is also cmin(family frens).so mums busy cooking.i m nt planning to help her not because i am lazy,bt because i am sick n i keep sneezing,i would not want to contaminate the food would i?
perhaps i shall help her clean up the kitchy...

yesterday i had this sudden feeling that i was missing my sister
she's currently in russia,
i really miss her
i cant wait for her to b back
n when she's here
my house will be the noisiest in the whole row of houses..
well its not much of diffrence nw either bt then there's still a wide diffrence

my mid-year is on the 18th may
so i hav nt much time in store.pratically 29 more days
i seem to b pretty relaxed
i know that i cant get back today again...
cz time is cruel
or perhaps
prolonging is the thief of time
yea..it is..... rite?
i stick to it.....

mental,emotion and nervous breakdown!

2009-04-11T00:30:00.000-07:00

today,saturday the 11th,
was one the most screwed up day!actually i dont really use this 'type'of words to express myself verbally.
i was just having all the negative emotions mixed up in me.
mostly i was feeling depressed,iritated,frustrated,and freakingly annoyed.
well it doesnt seem that bad.but to me it was horrible cz i am the one going through it,
i am sure many have gone through this situation before or at least once in their lifetime...
well u see....lately i have been superbly,extremely,tremendously and titanicly stressed!

top 3 causes

3.all the jabbering and all the words that dont sound that hurtful.but after a while i realise hw i hav been discriminated!.i even had an emotional block because of this crap!.i was going through kinetic depression!so freaking iritating cz i am not like that.at one point i thought all my hormones are going crazy and mixed up.

2.SPM!i hav so much to study and so little time.well yes SPM is THE POINT IN LIFE which decides the future...that is in malaysia... =_="
i am really powered up and geared in to do well and study.but lately i have no energy....no stamina to stay up late and study.maybe its sheerly laziness,or maybe its the weather.k i really should stop blaming other stuff for my own fault.i fear that if this goes on i wont be able to cover my syllbus!garhhhhh!!!!!

1.if u see me boiling or spilling out lava anywhere near school,its no buddies fault,but its due to the superbly 'hardworking teacher'.well my bm teacher which is one heck of a lazy pandi!she doesnt give us any work constantly.aite she does give us some work,but not constantly.well next week all students have to hand in their excercise book for all the subjects to be examined by the panitia.out of the blue she enters the class and drops a pile of hmwrk on our desks.well well let me list down all the work she has given.oh btw we hav to hand it in next week,which is like 2 days,that freaking sambal gave us yesterday ony.she tinks wat we r some sort of robot!

1.karangan surat rasmi tentang cuti cuti malaysia
''garllzz saya nak setiap isi lebih dari 100 perkataan yea''
k fine thats alrite.its understandable...

2.novel,4 soalan berdasarkan kedua novel yang dipelajari
the last time she gave us a novel latihan was bout beginning of febuary

3.tatabahasa pisahkan ayat dalam setiap perenggan
she hardly does this kind of crap!suddenly whoosh wat a wave!

4. 12 karangan bebas
k twelve essays.i think i shall nt sleep at all...she needs to visit the hospital near bels hse(tr)

doesnt this look like a list of homework for a month!
and that sambal expects us to do it in 2 days
and the best part is
venosha,'cikgu kena tulis tarikh ke'
sambal'tak tak jangan kita backdate nanti yea galzzz'
aaaaaaarrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

my addiction and obsession!

2009-04-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

i have a new addiction.....
its just too good
way too nyummy its food!

top 3

3.Dutch lady uht choclate milk!

its doesnt taste artifiacial like other milk products.i tried magnolia once. it was ok nt too bad,but still not as good as dutches milk! ;)

2.Jacobs weetameal

this biscuit is superbly addictive neways its healthy! i love to have it dunked with milo..hehehee spread butter and kaya on it and yesterday i tried it with butter and bramble jelly jam(kaya out of stock) it was nice.i ate that for my lunch,i eat it sometimes for my dinner.and if krity was to find out she would have killed me with her lectures.hehehee krity....

3.Chipsmore!

this is everyone's favourite.k maybe not all.but how many people hates chipsmore...? so many of my buds are in love with it too... well i prefer double choc,butter choc and original the one with the hazelnuts its ok not too bad bt nt my prefered chipsmore.

all of a sudden i am in the mood for food.weird?neh its every humans need rite? rite?

neways last year my clothing line (sounds very fashionfied...neways i am lost of words) was all
body glove for the past 3 years i hav been a BG freak!seriously.i even gt my mum and sis into BG.this year i plan to change my taste or shall i put it as my sense of fashion flavour... i am currently obsessed with clothes that are colourful and floral,in short i love the beachy prints and designs.so far i hav collected only a few peices of it...i must expand my collection.but the prob is ipoh is kemiskinan of it.if they have aso it will be too expensive and its so stupid of me to buy something thats not worth the price... neways my aunt frm USA Seatle parceled a top for me and my sis and mum via my uncle. its very nice and i am in love with it!thx atae!

party!

2009-04-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

well as stated in my previous post,me and my family will be attending my aunts and grandpa's bday party cum family gathering.we left ipoh bout 5.30 pm and reached there bout 7.00pm.the whole event was held in western restaurant,called 'steak house'.it was a very nice and classy place.actually this whole event was held by my cousins whom are way....older than me.i saw my neices and nephews,renu,loshni,eswary,thivesh and yuvesh,all the little cuties,except for renu,she happens to be older than me.hahaha!neways the event started but 8pm,the food was good,but i couldnt eat as much as i wanted to,cz i was stuffed!hehehe....
later the had the cake cutting ceremony.the cake was designed in a diamond shape,one half ws 4 my aunt the other for my grandpa. after that,the dance floor was open,well my family is the dancing family,an event is always incomplete without the dance part.we had the bhangra too.woah it was fun!
the party ended bout 12am and we left to ipoh bout 12 something.i practically dozed off at the backseat.we also had a ghostly encounter.mum told me that when me and my bro were fast asleep,they saw a man wearing a white shirt and whitish-creamish pants with hair till the neck,and the freakish part was it was in the middle of no where as its a straight long road with only trees and jungle at the side plus there was no house in sight.my mum said she didnt see that thing with legs.... ooooohhhh,it was floting oooooohhh scary!i tell u thx god i was sleeping.
we reached back bout 1.45 am.. due to overdozing at the backseat i ended up having a horrible neck and back pain... i need the hot water bag treatment

family gathering!

2009-04-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

i so cant wait for today!
today is my aunts b'day.so me and my family will be off to setiawan,cz my cousins there is throwing her a b'day celebration.
so all the family will be meeting each other.i get to see my neices.whom 1 is older then me by a year.ooh its gonna be so much of fun.will be leaving bout 2pm or so..depending wat time dad will be back frm golf.
i havent even packed.neways i ironed everything edy so its just bout folding it and arranging it in the back.i will be taking lots of shots.i wish my sister could attend it.too bad she's in russia and will only be back in july.haizh....

leaders to be..

2009-04-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

well last week my school sent 2 teams to represent smc for sunway college youth leadership course.it was held in SMI.
btw SMI toilet is like on an island,a very flowery garden.it was so nice.nt bad for a guys school.my school's toilet....never mind forget it.
it was awesome!
my my i tell u the speaker was just superbly mind blowing.her words of wisdom.
i m still in love with her t-shirt
its a printed tee,with a 'S'in the centre and its written as 'simple women'.
we had ice-breaking and some games.
i had a gr8 time.the games were nice and not forgetting painful.
the whole thing finished bout 1.30pm.
i was flat on the bed after my shower.i actually slept from 5 to 8.hahaaa
well my team has an assingment to do.'situational leadership'and 'the law of process'
i better get working on it.we have to send it in by 10th april.

my favourite quotes and the meaning...

2009-03-28T20:50:00.000-07:00

TOP 3!

1.If love is the answer,please repeat the question

sel told me bout this qoute.i just fell in love with this,because its so catchy and intresting.it can hav different meanings and it depends on one to understand the meaning.
well me and sel actually discussed bout this qoute.and we came up with the conclusion that,for every question asked,the answer is always love.example.why did u kill her?i killed her because i cant see her suffer.which is love.
if love is the answer please repeat the question,
the question cant be reapeted,as the answer for every question is due to love.exceptional for any ques related to war ofcourse..

2. I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself..

again a qoute that sel told me.
well most emo people cut themselves.i have seen it.one perfect example sitting right at the back of me in class.
so when the grass is emo,it will cut itself and provide less job to humans,no need to cut the grass.

3 Don't be too open minded u might drop your brains

well this quote came up when krity's essay was not excepted by personG.
well you see,when one is way too open minded they have the tendency to talk rubbish,crap and nonsense.

muscle girls!

2009-03-25T00:31:00.000-07:00

well today after bm,was EL and lau lady was busy with choral speaking practice.i m so sure that my school is going to lose.they gt the script on monday ant the competition is tommorow,thursday!
my..my....the teacher think the students are some sort of robots or wat...neways during EL..instead of working my brains out on add maths,me and my buds started carrying each other.woooowh!it was scary and fun...
shaheena actually lifted and cradled me....hahahaaa!veno on the other was all jumpy to lift me.she did it.and my my krity cn actually lift me up.oh my ghosh!she's one strong gurl!go krity.later i lifted krity,yash and sha.i wonder if my muscles are building up...hehehee.so stupid!
neways this saturday i will be going to SMI,for this leadership programme held by sunway universiti Kuala Lumpur.a few of my buds are also attending it.i wonder what will it be like...
hmmm...
neways i have got another 4 solid months before my trials and i am so nervous,so hyped and so tensed.i cant wait to finish my syllbus.ghosh!
god pls guide me through this tsunami!

2009-03-22T05:48:00.000-07:00

today i created a special sortta poem for my bro
i kinda like it...

from the core of my heart,
from the deepest ocean of my soul,
it means alot to me,
i hope it does the same to you,
U SUCK!

hahaaa
neways its just a joke...

kisses of words for my darling....

2009-03-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

today 22nd march 2009 marks another count in my mum's life.it is her birthday.at bout 12.30am we bought for my mum a moist choclate cake frm beacon point.we woke her up and brought her down.under dim yellow light she cut blew the candles and cut the cake,the cake was nyummy.we ate a slice of cake at 12.30am.hahaha,supper i guess.i didnt get my mom anything so i wrote her a poem,which was suppose to be one page long but it extended to 2 pages.she gave me a big hug and said thx u.i love u mom!.tonite we will be going out for dinner ,i dunno where but most probaly western food.
all the candles lit up!

the moist choc cake frm beacon point

arghhh!

2009-03-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

i feel so mad!
so pist!
so depressed!
so angry!
maybe its merely jealousy
why do i feel jealous?
duh!
with all that open remarks done publicly,
of course i will
but still why?
is it because i hav something towards u...
i hav given something so priceless to u...
maybe u dont realise it...
it felt like millions of thorns piercing through my soul
isn't it obvious that u hav taken something frm me
something that no one can
but u did
maybe u dont know u hav it
my beating 'dil'
it may seem so childish
i try to control all this emotions
feelings,
but i cant hold it back anymore
its not the right thing
but i cant take it anymore
actually i don't even know why i fell for u
what u hav that made me all woot!on u
maybe ur imperfection,
smart thoughts
intelligence,
matured self,
oooh!
hw i ever wish
if i was that warm
almost like a teddy bear....

slumdog!

2009-03-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

finally i watched slumdog.got so tired of people talking bout it and me left out not knowing anything..haha.it was a movie that deserved the award.seriously it was a very touching and emotional movie.there were some funny parts too...that were kinda of disgustingly hillarious.hahaha
went to watch with my aunt,shalu ka(my cousin) and mum.last wednesday.6pm show in jj.saw moni,navi,komathi and her sis there.wat a coincidence.
neways i really enjoyed the movie.we sat right a the back the last row.perfect view,till this man sat in front of me and blocked my view.sigh..so i tilted my head to the left and ended up with a tinsy neck pain.hahaha
but it was worth it ......

sangeet raat!

2009-03-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

last saturday me and my buds,krity,veno,shyama and sha went for bel's sisters sangeet raat.we met che kee,kumutha and alos shana!we had a splendid time there.we actually danced.it was fun.shyama was with the bangra!wohoo shyama!hahaa....we took a few shots.most of them crazy one.hehe...

2009-03-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

well, today right after tution my family went to hav chicken tauge.later after that my dad needed to go to the HSBC bank,in front of smi,near ipoh padang.my dad parked the car and there was this kancil,later after that this dude took a helmet frm a motorbike opposite the car and walked all jolly happy to the kancil and took off.it happened right in front of my eyes.my my ghosh crime in malaysia is really increasing and is terrible.neways my monthly exams is finally over.all the last minute brush ups and stay ups is gone.but i guess i hav to practice wat i hav been doing for this past one week till spm.i believe and know,by doing this i will be able to achieve my aim.tommorow is bel's sisters sangget raat so she invited me,krity,veno,shyama,shahena,and cckee.so today each of us chipped in RM 10 to get a gift.for the first time me and venosha were actually going to ipoh parade,a mall right next to my school,first time we were going after school.we told the principal and we were suprised that she actually gave us the permission slip to go there.its actually not really required but just to be on the safe side.i was kinda nervous cz ipoh parade is not so safe.but its ok till the 3rd floor.every one started calling me and veno parade virgins.hahaaa.....
when we went the were some noises thrown at us.we just ignored them.so unrefined.we bought an art sculpture thingy of a man and women dancing it was RM55.90.and we wrapped it with red cheese type of paper with a gold ribbon.it looks classy!
later after that i grabbed a bun at a bakery then went back to school and ate it.when we went to school sha was having choral speaking auditions,i tell u there was this girl it took her 30 mins to audition.wow sha u hav patience!.so yea tmrw is going to be really nice its my first function i am attending with my frens as in a traditional function.so we will all be in punjabi suits.we are all going to be ladies in pink and purple!

sports o9!

2009-03-07T19:40:00.000-08:00

well yesterday was my last spots day =(.it was held at stadium perak,as it always has been.this year i took part in marching,i was the mascot for yellow house.i was the mighty ancient bug!not a beetle k.
krity and veno helped get into my outfit.krity tied my mask and veno was videotaping that.veno oh veno.thx u so much guys!
they were much of a great help.not forgetting yogini who did lots of voluntary work to paint up and decorate the shell with me.here comes again krity and veno,.not forgetting bel and esther,este helped to sketch out the bug!an artist indeed!.they actually skipped classes so they could help me paint the bug.neway anyone would love to skip pn poh's class.i act passed by her class when i went to search for a girl.i heard her telling.'ah all this girls went out without permission!'thx god i had the permission frm faizah or else we would have bee krrrrrreeek!
and yellow house won marching!woot wooot!
hahahaaa
we had a good time screaming and yellling in the name of cheering and supporting.hahaha.krity broght brought chipsmores and mister potato veno brought choclates!we were whacking and laughing and yelling away!veno was all into it!hahahaa
got a little sunburnt but who cares!i had lots of fun!and this year red house won!woooho!go red!glad for them!after how many years they are back!congrats diana!

one thing is for sure i had a great time with my buddies this sports day!unfortunately its going to be my last.but u guys made it memorable!

the darker shade of my fears...

2009-03-02T22:59:00.000-08:00

i am afraid,
i am scared,
i am frigthened,
why my dear?
the heinous political game,
that might,
most probaly,
make my life into a game,
i am not a fool to treat life as a game,
i am wise to take it in my best hand,
but they are turning the tables around,
is it just because,
i am not like them,
which is said to be original,
their colour,
i am called a dark person,
why is it that way,
so what if my generation is not of yours,
we are still created by the same person,
but no,
these people dont take it that way,
i used to have this bugging feeling,
i wondered,
pondered,
thought,
deep,
later i discovered...
a new dark world in me,
me a girl that was fearless,
realised that the tree was growing,
the root is hard and tough,
i tried to break it,
by convincing my conscience,
of the other fake side of the story,
it still didnt work,
what am i to do,
a place that once used to be my innisfree,
is now...
sadly,
a war zone of,
justice,truth,crime,and blood,
i always aim beyond the skies,
but now i am not allowed to go beyond them,
what more reach it,
even if i deserve it,
the non-deservent seem to be much off better luck,
than me,
is it luck?
or is it the corrupt and unjust system?
i wonder....
its sad,
very sad,
a yet very depressing drama,
of life,
now its not much of difference living here or in hell,
those damned fools,
changed it,
but blames the rest,
but what can i do,
i am unable to do anything,
or is it i have been disabled from it,
restricted from making a change,
that may bring a bright change,
for now,
i still can do something,
it may seem small,
but its better off something than nothing,
i pray to my Lord,
please don't let them,
jeopardize my story of sucess,
i can only work towards it,
and hope,
but till when?
how long?
perhaps the dark times have drapped on,
when will there be a ray of light?

disect!

2009-03-02T02:25:00.001-08:00

well today was a pretty busy day at school.actually ok not so busy.at bout 10.30 me n li tng had to go n c puan faizah bout the yellow house marching and the mascot.we decided to do an egyptian theme.i was suppose to be the mummy and sharmele the phaorah and paveena the egyptian princess.suddenly out of no where comes this gurl telling the teacher that we no need to do mummy and replace it with tinkerbell.all of us was like 'wat the hell'.so nw they decided if they cant get the costume for 'tinkerbell'we will stick to the mummy.and the mascot is nw the ancient bettle those egyptian type.so tmrw i hav 2 stayback till bout 2.30 or so to do the mascot with paveena.so after the meeting was over bel and veno came over to the kh room and told me tat they wanted to go n c puan loh AKA the principal,cz we had dropped lit so we wanted to inform her that we would like to leave skewl early cz the last periods are el.she ok.so nw on skewl finishes at 1.50 pm!so glad.
yeah so after that we went to see krity and her team practising cheerleading for green house.it was really nice.it was a different krity i saw during the practice.she wanted everything to be perfect and tip top.strict and funny too.hahaha.she will be like screaming on top of her voice.wooohooo krity!i hope ur team wins!even if i am yellow hse i dun care.hahahaaa!so much for the sport spirit.
so yeah,after that we had bio.we disected a frog.it was really scary.all this while i tot i can take it when i see blood.but today i realised i cant.i almost passed out.there were 2 frogs in this pail,sha brought it.teacher poured in chloroform so it will faint.it started jumping and the pail was shaking here there and everywhere.and as usual the gals started screaming and running.shari was on top of the table.hahahaa.shari oh shari.tara then took it out of the pail and placed it on the operation table.its like a box of concentrated wax.super hard.teacher took four pins and pinned its hands and legs,and started skinning it.and the she cut the abdomen open.there was blood and i started to feel faint and dizzy.i saw the heart beating.its so tiny.angy was busy taking pictures.all in the spirit angy!veno just left the lab cz she couldnt take it.i left a few minutes after she did.i felt sad cz it was an act of cruelty to a living organism.and we killed it when it was healthy and jumpy.ghosh!god plz forgive me.thx god i didnt participate in disecting the second frog.bel later came and told us that,kiran she pressed the stomach or something and the shit came out.she said it was green...
EEEEEEW!
neways i didnt go for bm tution today.i had this horrible headache.sorry veno=)
so yeah i better go get ready for bio nw.
till then...

ouch!arghh!

2009-02-28T17:53:00.000-08:00

had taekwando yesterday.and as usual we will do our normal routine workout before we start out.krity came but she didnt join us cz she sprained her leg during cheerleading practice.get well soon krity.and thx god she didnt join us.or else by now her legs would have been extra triple sprained.so master henry told us to do some push ups,situps,crunches and something else.u bend bot legs super fast without stopping,back and forth.when i was doing it.i felt nothing.but today.my leg and tummy hurts like hell.esp my legs.maybe theres some lactic acid collected around the muscles.so it will be gone pretty soon.k i better stop here.my bro jz came out frm the room and mummy is calling me.so till then.got to go fin my sej.aiyoooh!

LOVE STORY

2009-02-28T06:26:00.000-08:00

well i didnt take the pills so yea i am not in bed yet.

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh, oh, oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

seems fammiliar?
yes!its taylors swifts latest hit!
love story

i just seem to be so addicted to the song when i am not supposed to.
the lyrics is really nice...
and deep
its like this romeo juliet story
the music video for this song is awesome!
it's like the olden days prince and princess thingy
i realised,that ever since i took up litreature
i actually interpret the meaning behind the lyrics
i feel and understand the song more.
lit has changed me to become a more poetic person.
i just love lit.at first i was not so into it.but now i cant stop myself from writing poems.converting my feelings to sets of word that sounds nice and classical, in a way.

i am listening to love story right now.and its replaying everytime it ends.like i said i am addicted to it.almost like a drug,to make my day complete.

go taylor!

FAKEY!

2009-02-28T05:14:00.000-08:00

" HYPOCRITE"

what is the first thing that strikes your mind when the word above appears before your eyes?
well in my point of view the basic meaning of hypocrite is someone who pretends to be better than he really is or to be pious, virtuous without really being so. A hypocrite is someone who says one thing and does the opposite.
a lot of people hate hypocrites but they don't realise that they are also one of those.i am not trying to criticize anyone or so in particular.but i have met a few people who are like that (thank god! none are close to me).they tend to be quite iritating and fake.i think that they are one hell of a big pretentious star.
at the same time,i feel bad for them.coz u see,sometimes the situation is put in such a way that they have no choice but to pretend.they do this so that no one gets hurt.as in feelings.maybe person A just doesnt like person X.but A cant hurt X's feelings by telling the truth.by right A should tell X so X can change.so A continues to pretend all happy,i love u,u are so funny,but is all 'can't u shut up',stop crapping,'can you grow up','why are you so dumb',inside.
well there you go.just so that no one gets hurt A is actually making himself or herself miserable.
why i hate some hypocrite?
there are some of them who do things just for their own benefits and importance.i seriously dislike and anti these sort of people.at one momment they just can't get along with u and then the next second u see them all nice and pleasing u.u will feel happy thinking they have changed.but then later realise it is all so that ur mouth will be close shut and tight.or so that their wishes will be fullfilled.its just so disgusting.i cant take people like that.major hypocrite!
well i am so tired of hypocrites.so i am going to dump in my medcine and sleep.zzzzz...

what if....

2009-02-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

what if ,
i wanted to tell you,
how much ,
i care for you,
how much,
i miss you,
how much
i love u,
how much,
i regret,
but its,
all too
late,
the problem with
life
its unpredictable
one minute i see you
laughing,
and the next
second
u lie down
motionless,
lifeless,
emotionless,
so before its too late
u should know something,
u mean the whole world to me,
u made me who i am,
u tought me life lessons
u made my life memorable and fun,
u will always be in my heart,

heryyooo!

2009-02-21T05:16:00.000-08:00

seriously today was the most damned day in 2009,so far...
well you see...
i fell sick today act it started yesterday...
k yesterday after my maths tution my throat starting to feel painful.
and i felt like some sort of thing stuck in my throat since last week.so i told my mum.she was sortta firing me.well u see this pass one week i had been really tied up with things and that thinggy in my throat and my sudden frustration of something i aso dunno,kinda made me lose my apetite to eat.my mum thinks that because i didnt eat properly i fell ill.i tried to reason with her.but it didn't work.well last week my maths teacher had flu and we were in an air conditioned room.so like duh!the bacteria or the virus can be delivered into my body.and to top that,li tng my neighbour was down with flu,and kept sneezing.she sits right beside me.how am i suppose to avoid contact with the air she exhales.and praveena my tution mate had flu yesterday and sore throat...so the virus errupted yesterday!and i fell sick today.i was having fever and i was like burning,and my throat was so painful.i cant even swallow water.it hurts.and besides me eating less doesnt make my white blood cells weak or destroyed.i dunno,but nowdays i dont feel like i am me.somethings wrong with me!
but i dunno
seriously
god help me....

Thaipusam!

2009-02-07T17:55:00.000-08:00

this year me and my family went to the murugan temple..every year we go to the same temple,eva since i was born.seriously.
i was going to carry milk this year,like every other year since form 2 i think...
neways devotees who are going to pour milk haveto get a hair bath and body of course.i didnt want to go to the temple with wet hair.so i had my shower at bout 10.30pm on saturday.then i slept at 12 after watchin tv,a movie called dragon heart.
then i got up at 1.30am on sunday.i had to shower again cz i slept.but not my hair.thx god!
then we left bout 2 something.well it was nt so crowded near the hospital but there were lots of cars parked near d road at the hospital.then dad parked the car.we got down and started walking.i saw yogapriya.she was cmin bak frm d temple and i was going.(k krity and veno nw u cant say that u neva see me at d temple)then we continued walking.while walking this group of indian boys dancing in d middle of the road.i just think that is very stupid and unrefined to do on an auspicious day.it adds on with the meaningless loud music.so iritating!my mum told me and my bro to go in a straight line while passing the place.my dad was infront then me, mum and bro.when my dad was walking one fella accidentally hit my dad.my dad was kinda iritated cz tat fella was dancing backwards or something.the fella said sorry.he better did so.or...god will punish him la for hitting a devotee fulffiling their vows.
then we reached the temple.we started queing up.the line was not so long,kinda short.then finally our turn came.we entered d temple.i saw lord muruga and the milk abhisegham.lord muruga looked so captivating.so beautiful.seriously.when i saw lord muruga,i felt something like this sort of soft soothing feeling.it was a nice feeling.then we went out of the temple and to the place where the barber cuts the devotees hair.my bro vowed to bald his head.he bought the ticket.me and mummy waited outside of the place.there were benches.lots of people were sitting.my dad followed my bro.we waited like 20 minutes.when my bro came.i was like...WOOOOOOOOOH.he looked so friggin different.bt he looked nice.nt bad.then dad put the 'santhanam'on his head.we then left the temple compound.on the way we bought some sweets.'jelebi','pagoda'and 'palkowa'.then we started walking back.on the way.we saw two devotees that pierce their mouth with a long 'vel'walking with a parang.it was lord muniswera.damn cun.first time. on the way to the car,near anderson roundbout i saw kumutha.she was walking like beside me, arm to arm.she hit me and i saw her.then we reached d car.and off to home.we reached home bout 4 sumtin.the first thing my dad did was to take a pic of my bro.or my botak bro.then he was posing lar.then all of us went to brush and wash our feet.then we ate the pagoda and sweets.and we slept off at bout 5.15 am.and got up at 9am.veno called me to see her cousin bro taking kavadi.i wanted to go but we were too tired and i don't really like places that are too crowded.maybe next year i will see veno during thaipusam.

the day!

2009-02-07T05:05:00.000-08:00

well yesterday was a very busy day....
i had school it finished at 2 then i had to go for squash practice at 2.30
esther asked me to be there early cz i had to take the students attendance cz li tng had interact board meeting so she wud be a little late.esther was so tensed actually all of the board members for squash was.cz the meeting was at 3 to 4 for half F4 and the F3 but no came. we thought that the first meeting was going to be a big failure.bt it wasnt.thx god!the students came at 3.20 to 3.40.very punctual.neways i had a good time practising squash.got my reflexes warmed up and smoothed.then i had to rush home cz i had tution at 5.30.the squash meeting ended at 5 bt i left a little earlier cz i hate rushing.as soon as i got home i took my shower and changed and off for tution.studied some graphs.then came home,and did my hmwrk and tution work.i dozed of at bout 10.then today i had taekwando at 9.30am to 11am.came home at bout 1150am.took my shower again.and ate and watched tv and slept.
well i will be going to pour milk at midnight.bro's going to bald his head.i guess he will look ok with no hair.at least he can save some money on the wax.=)
hope he is not reading this.i don't want to get the look and the word.bt i am actually used to it.so wateva bro!
haha
hope to see venosha at the temple.
i also hope that it won't rain during thaipusam cz it will b hard for the people taking kavadi's and pouring milk.
god i hav to get started on my add maths chap 2.have been sleeping in pn poh's class.she works like a General anathestic.almost half of the class dozzes off some even drool on the textbook.disgusting but funny.

i can't belive that this is going to be my last year schooling.ghosh!time flies so fast.i am really gonna miss skewl.esp my dearest frens that are like gems.
all those memorries we spent together will last a lifetime.
every detail,every feeling,eveything.
i wished i met krity and veno earlier.the are really gr8 frens.well if any 1 of u are reading this pls don't expand k.

perhaps the dark time?

2009-02-07T04:49:00.000-08:00

well the situation in perak is pretty messed up for the momment.i feel that the appointing of a new mb for perak is just so unffair.this is because there was no election.first of all did the people vote for BN?AND secondly the people get the chance to choose who they would favour to be ruled by?
and thirdly,wats the point of having the elections last year when end of the day the state will end up in the clutches of bn?seriously i find this very senseless and not rational.moreover this is unffair to the fellow perakians.their rights to vote have been robbed.i know i am a 16 year old.but it is just so disturbing.all the rumours all the roadblocks god!is it ever going to be possible for me to reach home early?its just so iritating having to wait and take the longer route.
kk i guess i better stop writting wateva thats running at the back of my mind.i don't want to end up being like raja petra who was caught for telling the truth.krity ur line,i had to cetak rompak.=)

2009-01-30T06:14:00.000-08:00

today i logged into friendster and i saw this bulletin bout this low life which blogs bout indian he call indians keling and horrible stuff.
i think that thing is so uncivilised and is a uneducated brat and a racist freak
go and check it out urself

this the link
http://pendekartanahair.blogspot.com/

this low life is just getting itself into deep stool
it doesnt deserve to be called he or she becoz i think and feel
racist low lifes dont need to be respected!

phew....

2009-01-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!
after ages
i am back
with more stories
more heart filled momments
more fun
more anxiety
and.....
ok i shall just cut it short
a lot happened this month
oooh!
i just don't know where to begin...

k i shall start with new year..
well this time for new year my family celebrated with BBQ
it was fun
esp when my bro had to do all the bbqing work
hahahaha!
k
it was nt a big event
it was in my hse
my uncle and couz came
her mom was cmin back frm australia that day
and paps fren came...
we had tasmanian bbqued lamb
chicken wings
sausages
and noodles
shalu came over the morning b4 the celebratoin..she helped mom to prepare the stuff

thats all for new year...

then school started....
i was so excited too see all my buds
after a long holiday we were finally meeting
in class we were just talking and talking,commenting and gossiping.after all we are girls.even men do gossip.

so yea i am pretty tied up with school for now
clubs and activities
started revising
slowly
neways i am gearing up nw
having xams soon
i better get ahead of the topics
ghosh!
just looking at the book makes me get goosebumps....
grrrr......
its just so scary
like i have no time

ghosh i have a lot of catching up to do
thx god
i just finished my moral folio...
so nw i am a bit free to study

till then....

happy new year!

2008-12-31T21:46:00.000-08:00

goodbye 2008!hello 2009!

Happy New Year!
well again a new year is born.this year is really important to me.i hav loads to do 2 make 2009 meaningful,not just to me but to my family.its a big year.i will be sitting for my SPM like 10 months from nw.kinda nervous.
well 2008 has gone by so fast.it was just has if i joined form 4 yesterday and joking around with ma buds and burning the midnite oil.2008 was a gr8 year.2008 offered me loads of sweet memories.well there were some sour and bitter ones too.but hey...forget the bad remember the good.i learnt alot from 2008.
2008 end year holidays was actually very very memorable.i spent it differently.i didn't go out of malaysia.instead i spent it with my cousins.the taiping trip was really gr8.i got the chance to really know my cousins in person.i had my first motorcycle ride.WOW!it was AWESOME! plus free fringe blow drying service.usually people think tat taiping is so slow moving and is far away from fashion.well NO!it's not.they have taiping sentral,tesco,the store,giant and jusco is coming up.and their tesco is way better than the one in ipoh.
well yesterday was new year eve.we had a bbq party at my home.my uncle and his family came.but my aunt joined us at 12.30am today cz she just got back frm australia.mum and pa's frens came.it was nice.my bro was the bbq boy.we had lamb shoulders,chicken wings and varities of sausages.omg i think i grew fat overnight!i lost tat 1 kg with so much of effort and nw its gone...'POOF'.nevermind i will lose it wen school reopens.it usually does.man!i can't wait for school to open.see the buds and chat away.
well 2009 i hope u offer me something positive and good.can't wait to see wat 2009 is all about.
Here I Come 2009!
be prepared!

cousins!

2008-12-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

well tmmrw i will be going to taiping with ma cousin,shalu to our uncle's place there.we planned to spend some time with our cousins from taiping.it was all shalu's idea.its a gr8 plan.i haven't even packed yet.well b getting on tat soon.ma mum told me tat she's gonna miss me.and i told her i would be calling her.so can't wait to go and c them.well first i betta get all my work done b4 i leave.at least ma mind will be in peace.well today evening shalu will be cmin and we will go cycling.finally ma bike can be used,thx to ma uncle.well i betta get packing.will b back on xmas!

holidays!

2008-12-18T07:51:00.000-08:00

i just got back from camerons a few days back.me n my mum went 2 ch last wed as my aunt frm ch came down.so we planned to spend some time getting some proper rest and it was a perfect escape for me away frm d smoky air and getting some time for myself.we stayed in my aunts place for a week.ma bro and dad joined us on saturday.well it was quite a nice holiday.it was freaking cold.
19 to 20 deg during the day and 16 to 18 deg at night.and it rains!ma legs were shaking.
and the toilet became my favourite spot.....hmmm...haha.seriously.
on d second day of ma stay in ch,it was a sorrta light festival celebrated by all indian community all over the world.it is known as 'kartigaai'.on this day we light up oil lamps and pray.as ch is a small place,small events are celebrated grand and huge.right in front of my aunts house there the temple where kartigaai is celebrated.so we gt dressed up and walked there.its not even 500m.i act was nt in d mood.felt sleepy cz it was freezing.actually i felt lazy.i just wore a plain suit and my loop earings.and off we went.when we reached d temple all d eyes were on me and my mum.i was like,ok... tats weird.i thought sumtin was wrong with me.then my mum told me that we were new so they were wondering who we were.as i hav never went to a temple for kartigaai.i usually pray at home.so this was ma first time experience celeberating it in temple.they tied a huge stack of like hay and coconut leaf and d pelepah.and they prayed and then they set the stack on fire.it was a huge fire.and the winds were really strong.the fire was like roaring.seriously roaring.finally i understand why people say that.it was awesome.there were sparks flying everywhere.a girls hair almost caught fire.that was freaky.well i experienced tat once too.scary!
it was so warm and nice.i didnt feel cold.then after that we prayed, and ate.i tell u i hav no idea but the temple food is always so tasty.ok..ok maybe because i was hungry.bt it was g8!then ma mum and aunt were like a few steps away from me talking with some one,relative i suppose.suddenly this lady came over to me held ma arms and asked me 'who's child are you'
in tamil.i was like..'ermm sashi and mr venugopal naidu'.she was like 'oh venu's girl isit'.then my mum came and again..
haizh..
neways saw a arabian dude.omg so freaking cute!
later d nex day we just stayed home.and d nex and d nex.
helped ma aunt vacumming.cz in ch d floors are all carpetted.it was fun.at least better than sweeping.haha..
ma aunt is an awesome cook.she cooks well.and d vegetables i eat there totaly taste different.it tastes fresh.it was so tasty.ma aunt gets all d food stuff fresh from d market.she kept feeding me and my mum.i ate like a pig!omg.when i got home i started working out.went for walks with ma cousin shalu.she stays just 2 rows away from my house.its nice.d only chance i have to explore my neighbourhood.nowdays no one can go for a walk alone.sigh..
i really miss those days when i could go cyclying to venosha's house right at the back row of ma house.neways she has left for a new home in d far... far... away.. kelebang jaya.
ma cousin shalu is leaving tommorow for kl.there's a camp organised by sai baba centre.hope she has fun and a safe journey.can't wait for her to be back on monday.

2008-12-07T21:20:00.000-08:00

twilight
a movie that was simply entertaining
and
worth d ticket money.

twilight starred by robert pattinson and kristen stewart was nice not too bad.but nt all the scenes from the book was in d movie.tats one of the movies minus points.besides that it was entertaining.jasper is kinda funny.his expressions was really funny.as he is the new'vegetarian'.the other characters were nt too bad.
one thing is for sure,i really enjoyed d movie with esther and venosha.they were gr8 company.too bad sha,krity,bels and li tng couldn't make it.newayz i plan to watch it again.lol.

if u haven't watched this movie yet...
go grab a ticket and watch this movie!

2008-11-28T07:38:00.000-08:00

well today i was watchin tv.n news flash!

there was a terrorist attack in india.it was horrible,it was saddening,it was just so..so heart wrecking.even tat those 100+ victims were nt related 2 me,bt still they are souls.some were innocent souls.they never knew wat was about 2 come.it came like a tsunami and swept all their lives away.imagine wat this situation has put the victims families through.today in this world,someone has lost somebody that were their world and meant alot.i pray n hope this will never happen.n this current situation will end,in a peaceful way.i cant do anything more but just pray and hope.well i hope those victims are in a better place.and i also wish tat all their pain is washed off.

an eye for an eye makes the world blind.

-mahatma gandhi-

well i hope one fine day,peace will fall on earth and everyone can live in peace,happiness,and feel secure.i pray that,that day will come soon..really soon.
speaking frankly the word PEACE,can bring loads and heaps of positive diffrence to the world,
politics, society and family affairs.
well like i said all i can do is pray and hope.
and for now i will just close my eyes imagine the world as a peaceful place.

2008-11-22T23:28:00.000-08:00

yesterday i watched this movie,in tv3.it was starred by esha deol,aftab,n amisha.the titleof d movie was ankahee.it was a very different movie.its not so new n not so old.trust me it was worth watching.it was touching,sentimental,n realistic.i feel tat this movie shud be watched by both men and women.this movie is bout cheatings and affairs.aftab is a doc n he has a patient who happens to be a beauty queen,esha.she gets admitted for a suicide attempt.she is a little physco.aftab,dr shekar has a beautiful wife amisha, nadhitaa and a 5 year old daughter,sheena.he sorrta falls for esha.esha is all over shekar.slowly shekar slips away frm his family into tat homebreaker's arms.
wen the news comes out in the paper bout shekars n esha's relationship,amisha didnt yell at him she just asked him wat esha had tat she didnt hav.tat part was so touching.n d saddest part was wen he yelled at amisha telling her tat their marriage was his biggest mistake.their kid became sick n dropped in skewl.aftab moved out n stayed with esha.esha always doubt him n suspects his every move.she even made him divorce his wife.the divorce took place.one night sheena came 2 her mom,amisha and gave her a card made by her.n she said'mama i luv u, n i just wanted 2 let u know tat even if papa doesnt love u anymore i still and will always luv u...'
tat was so sweet of tat kid.so sentimental so touching.finally one day tat phsycopath,esha shoots herselfs n dies.shekar was left alone.he died after 16 wen his daughter read his diary aka this story.
i wonder wether this type of situations do happen.if it does i hope and pray it doesnt.n if doesnt i hope it will never exist.but sadly in some households it does.i pray tat the victims of this situation has the strength to overcome it.

2008-11-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

Today ma sis she came on9 via skype.d whole family was in d computer room.we were crapping n doing stupid jokes.i loved to joke around wif ma sis n ma fam.so ma mum was talking to her.n i waited patiently.....
then finally ma mum handed the headphones 2 me.yes finally!!
i get to speak to ma swenena sister(its pig in russian).so she asked me bout a few guys,tat i once told was gud looking n hot n all d common guy description tat
fun hormonal girls use..
so yea..
i told bout tis n tat n bla bla
all d common sister talks ...
then it striked me

WHAT TYPE OF GUY I WUD WANT

well speaking honestly
i have gt no idea
besides i m just too....
i repeat tooo
young 2 hav an image of my mr perfect.
i feel tat its just not the time yet.yes i hav said tat a few guys i have seen is gud lookin n etc etc
but hey i was just commenting.
i m just too young n i m nt matured yet.
besides once i grow up n start ma career i will be meeting loads of people
n whoosh!!!
an ocean of dudes will be there
so why hurry rite?
neways i guess when i see tat person in d future,like in another 7 to 10 years,i will know he's the one.

hw will ma future be?

2008-11-13T04:59:00.000-08:00

today morning when i was in the shower having a relaxin time with the hot bath though the weather wasnt cold,suddenly a thought striked my mind.i started thinking bout my future.'hw will i be wen i m out of high school','wat will i do',where will i go','will i do well in ma spm' n yada yadaaa.....
actually speaking frankly,i actually feel insecure bout ma future.till today i actually don't know wat i want 2 do.in wat field should i persue ma higher education.the worst part is i don't even have a rough idea of wat i like.yea i do luv bio,d anatomy,life cycle n etc etc. me feeling so lost....
a lost soul..
but will i enjoy wat i think i will enjoy.thats the main problem that gives me nightmares.
i know that its too much 2 think bout this cz i havent even sat for ma SPM.but time its seems long but 'poof'! its gone.i m jz so worried.garhhh!!!

Lost....

i see a girl,
she looks familliar,
I look at her,
she stares back at me,
i look into her eyes,
i look deep into them,
her eyes seems to speak to me,
i see the hurricane in her mind,
i see what she sees,
i feel what she feels,
she feels insecure,
she's curious,
she's afraid,
she's not prepared,
she tries hard,
but....
she cant seem to get rid of it,
the hurricane is becoming worst,
she cries,
she screams for help,
she's drowning in the storm,
she knew how to swim,
but she cant swim,
she's falls apart,
she drowns,
she tries to breathe,
she cant breathe,
she sinks,
she stops breathing,
her compelling eyes shut close,
sudenlly she awakens,
she's somewhere,
but where?
its dark,
theres no sight of light,
she tries to find a way out,
but she's just lost...
she feels weak,
she wonders about her future,
will she have one,
what will it be,
i look at the mirror,
standing there,
i realised,
i am lost.

2008-11-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

Today is a day that i will neva 4get.i got up as usual 4 school.i was already in ma car.suddenly i felt like throwing up n ma stomach ached.i told ma mum.she sighed n turned back.since it was 7 already ma mum said neva mind no need 2 go 2 skewl.so i stayed at home.i called veno in d evening she told me tat we had 2 do our moral folio n hand it in tmrw.i was like, aiyuh!!!!.
dad took us out 4 dinner at oliverz cafe.food was good.

Rite nw i m sortta emoing.i suppose becoz sm1 i really love and care is going 2 endure a pain that is excruciating,and also going thru a tough time. This is for that darlingest person in ma life....

when she broke the news to me,
i was shattered but she was more shattered,
she was torn apart,
so was i,
when i saw tears rolling down her cheeks,
my heart was crying out of pain,
it was my 1st,
i had never seen tears in her eyes,
she was always strong,
it was my 1st,
to see her so ripped apart,
she was no longer the same person,
she dwelled herself in sadness,
she cried while being entertained,
she cried when she ate,
she cried in her sleeps,
she cried in her dreams,
she cried in her heart,
the core of her heart seemed so powerless,
i became weaker with every tear she shed,
but i knew i had to be strong,
nt jz for me bt for her,
i wonder why was god being so cruel 2 her,
but then he does everything for a reason,
if he gives her pain i m sure he will give her strength,
with the flow of time she is gaining her spirit,
i hope she knows that we are with her in this war,
my dear, my perspective on u will never change,
u will always b the same uber cool,loving and strong person
i pray that she will be fine,
i pray that she will pass in this test,
i know that she will,
after all she is a strong rose,
that never losses its smell and beauty,
I LOVE U
MY DEAREST JEWEL,
.

2008-10-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was awesome.it wz diwali eve.me n ma family went over 2 ma uncles hse like 2 rows away.diana n her family aso cm along.it wz sorrta fun.ma aunt she cooked a lovely meal.there wz prawn,fish,chicken n mutton n ma favourite d mix vegetables.i suppose becoz it was filled with mushroom.
Diana n her family cm later.after they had their dinner we went out n started 2 fire d rockets n firecrackers.it wz fun.shalu,bro,me,diana n azrul were outside d house blasting d rockets.there wz dis firecracker known as d 'bee' ma bro fired it n it flew rite into one of d neighbours hse.n d dog wz trying 2 get out of d cage.poor doggy we scared its fur out!!
me n diana we were imagining hw wud it be 2 blast n play firecrackers in front of manoz hse.he n they way he tralks.we sorrta memimik his voice n dialogue.it wz funny.
i woke up bout 8am today it was a really late nite yesterday.i slept at bout 230am.so yea there is slight dark rings around ma eyes...sighs..
neway i had tosai wif chicken curry n also cereal.due 2 d heavy breakfast i skipped ma lunch.a few of ma broz college mates r down rite nw.mum n dad r sleepin.i think i m goin 2 watch sm tv.so bye ma fellow readers.

2008-10-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

Rite nw i m reli crazy over crsytal bracelets.i had 7 n 1 broke.IT was reli very very sad.it wz rainbow coloured.SO NW Bak 2 d present.i went 2 parade last thursday.n i usually go 2 above in bum city 2 get ma bracelet.1 bracelet isRM12.90.bt tat day they were clearing up d stock n there wz 70% off n it was only rm3.87.i grabbed 4 of em all different n sparkling.haaa.i fell in love with them.still in love actually.u wud luv it if u were a girl.so classy n pretty at d same time.
I plan 2 get a few more today tat is if i go 2 parade.
CRSYTAL!!!

2008-10-03T21:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday wz nt too bad.it wz actually kinda fun,nervous n a little tensed.well yesterday i had to attend an award ceremony held by maybank bcoz i scored straight A's in ma PMR examination last year.it wz specially 4 d maybankers children.It was held at Casuarina hotel.it started bout 3.45pm.they were calling d names of d kids n d parents followed them.then after 15 mins d mc called ma name i wz actually kinda shakey n nervous.ma mum followed me n ma dad joined me frm d front.wen i gt tat award i felt so.. so happy so glad bcoz i made ma parents proud n there wz flashes of light at least 3 to 4 cameraz. i felt like sm star(i m nt bragging or wat kay every1 gt tat 2)
after d PMR students wz d SPM students ma bro gt an award too cz he did good in d xamz.n since both of ma dad's kids gt an award he gt d title super dad or double parent.i wz so so so so happy cz ma dad gt tis tittle b4 he retired frm maybank.i alwayz dreamed bout tat tittle.it wz a very gud feeling 2 make ma parents happy.u hav too feel it to understand tat momment.
i gt a cert n a check i already planned on wat to do with tat money bt ma dad has other plans.

the meltdown of ma heart...

2008-10-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

this is d painting of ishaan done by nikumbh

well yesterday was d second day of raya.so as usual they will put some good shows.my day yesterday wz nt so bad it wz alrite.had a reli late sleep d day b4.ma uncle n dadz fren cm so yea as usual it wz a late nite.bt hey i had fun wif ma cuzin sis shalu.disturbin her n lol with ma aunts story.damn tat wz reli funny.it wz diz 5 year old tat told my aunt her recipe n its made frm chili powder bread crumbs n name for dat freakishly weird yet funny receipe wz city delight.i wz jz thinking 2 ma self tat whoever whu ate d 'city delight' will b havin a delightful time at d john.hahaha.
so nw bak 2 yesterday. as i am a vegeterian 4 d nine god festivals ma mum did vegetarian food n ghosh it wz so good.i wz like' omg ama its so good' n i wz hogging like a bloody pig.
later at nigt i did sm sejarah n i wz so sick n dead of it.i felt so empty.n i hav no idea why.so i stood in front of d tv n staring balnkly at d shiny screen.then i turned d tv on. it wz zee tv channel 108.
there wz this movie directed n starred by amir khan.Taree Zameen Par.it wz one hell of a touching story.it wz one of d movies tat i actually teared.it wz about this boy,Ishaan who has difficulties in reading bt he is a gr8 artist.he tries reli hard.bt he jz cnt.he is also quite active n tat gets him to trouble.his dad is one heck of a stricto.his mum is reli loving.n his brother Yohan is reli very gud n understanding towards ishaan.
one day ishaan runs away frm d skewl bcoz he didnt get his m3 paper signed by his parents n didnt do his m3 work.he jz ran 2 d roads n wondered.at nite wen he wz sleepin he woke yohan n asked him 2 write him a absent letter.at first yohan scolded him out of concern.after tat he wrote it 4him. one fine day his dad found out bout tat letter.he wz so pissed. he decided to send him off 2 boarding schoo.ishaan wz so torn n broken.he didnt want 2 leave.
wen he went there he became even worst all d teachers maki him teruk teruk.idiot,stupid,dumb,n etc.he died inside.tat once upon active noisy kid has turned so quite n doesnt talk no response 2 anytin.
in dat whole skewl he only has one fren,Ram.tat boy has a problem with his legs n uses crutches n he is also d smartest kid there.
later one day a new art teacher cmz in d skewl.he realises tat he is so quite n wonders y.he asks d teachers bout ishaan they told d him tat he cnt write or even read.they complained n complained.oh yea b4 tat d teachers name is ram shankar nikumbh.he teaches n helps in a special skewl for all d unable children.
nikumbh realises tat ishaan has dyslexia. he goes n meets his parents n informs them.
his dad becomes so furious.
slowly nikumbh helps ishaan n he picks up slowly. n soon cn speak n write.
n then nikumbh helds a art competition n even d teachers take part.nikumbh drawz ishaan face.n wen ishaan gives his painting to nikumbh he walks towards nikumbhs painting n saw his image there.tat part wz jz so touching he started crying cz no one has ever dne tis 4 him.n ishaan wins d comp.tat part wz even mre extra touching.arghh u hav 2 watch tat movie 2 feel it.ghosh i enjoyed it.i dont mind watchin it again.watch it n feel it.

PoNteNg!!!

2008-09-17T23:50:00.001-07:00

well today i cut skewl cz i didnt feel like goin 2 skewl. bt i kinda miss my buddies ta make my day.yea so anywayz i woke up today at 5.45a.m had my shower ate b'fast n started studyin at 6.30am.i did sejarah chap 7 it wz okay there were sm parts of f3 sejarah involved.so it wz easier.i stopped bout 10 am cz my tummy wuz all rumbly fumbly so i went down 2 grab a bite i took a muesli bar n my mum wz trying 2 fix d iron dat wz spoiled.all d wires n stuff nt my kind.so i kinda felt bad leavin her alone there so i sat wif her n finished my bar.then i ended up talking wif my mum till 1045.n then i knew tatz it no mre study study.so i ate my lunch, egg tart!! my fav.n nw i m here blogging n chatting wif my cousin sisters.plan 2 get bak on my books at 230 pm.hopefully i cn do it.

tensed,exhausting,too much n frustrating.

2008-09-17T23:50:00.000-07:00

well yesterday wz a nice day everything started out fine,b'fast,the ride 2 skewl,at d sudut,n assembly.when i gt 2 class bel dropped d bombshell.
our xam tat wz supposed 2 b on d 16th has been fowarded to d 7th.i wz so arghh!! so pissed wif d skewl. first the great skewl of mine set d xamz on d 6th.then becoz of d tourism quiz n homestay programme d postponed d xamz on d 16th.n nw on d 7th.the skewl is jz so undecided.
They finalised d xam date on d 16th n nw on d 7th.grr....
i wz annoyed wif d schedule. frm d 7th to d 9th is bm,bi n sejarah.den we hav a break n d xam starts bak on d 16th.its so complicated.newayz i dun care edy.i m jz gonna focus on ma xamz n d results.
cz i wz jz so pissed so as usual i started lookin at d brighter side 4rm d changes done.n i figured out tat i actually will b able 2 enjoy my light festival. n help ma mum.during physics there were too many nyamuk.ahaiyhz.so we wnt bak 2 our class.i wz jz so sleepy as i slept at 2 am.so i jz dozed off.later we had chemi n we were made too wear googles.all of us looked so funny.krity said i looked like tweety bird n veno nut said i looke like a bird on a plane.lol.
me n krity were so nt in d mood 4 experiments so we didnt reli do muc pratically lili did everything she really wanted 2 do it.yea so she did it with a tinsy wincy hhelp frm me n krity.
krity told me tat she felt fat btw she is one hell of a slimo skino.it seemz she did shoppin yesterday 4 deepz.n she ate cheezy wedgez n twisters at KFC. then she ate choclate flavoured ice cream a bR.N DRANK A MC FLURRY.as i wz alredi hungry she made me mre hungry.durin break i n veno n bel we took all our stuffz down 2 d canteen n started hogging.i ate my granola bar n roller coaster.then break wz over. we wnt bak 2 class. n after bout 10 to 15 minz i realised tat we left ll our stuffz at d canteen.i ran all d way down veno wz making me laugh n wen i stopped running aww!! my tummy reli wz painful due 2 d running n d laughter.it wz kinda silly d who situation.haha.

2008-09-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

Today i gt up at bout 8 am cz i heard sm noise downstairs.so i gt up n went 2 check out d noise
n it wz my dad gettin ready to go golfing.so i went back to sleep.mum woke me up at bout 830 after she woke up.i had my shower.ate my breakfast n off i flew upstairs to study.
i opened my sejarah book n started where i stopped yesterday.i gt so tired of it.it reli made me sleepy.it worked like a GA. so i switched 2 ad m3.did composite function.i liked dat chap of ad m3 so it wz a piece of cake.as i wz doin some sums.suddenly i was startled by screamings n yellings frm my neighbours hse.heryooo!!!
It wz so friggin annoying. d gilaz residens wz too much of noise 4 me.i cudnt take it.so i stopped add m3 n went downstairs.there my dearest bro wz listenin 2 music n studyin. i looked at him, n he gave me d 'wat d hell r u lookin at' look.newayz i m so imune 2 tat.so i went 2 d kitchen my mum wz preparin lunch.so i went up n switched 2 bio.later.den i went on9 checked my mails friendster,facebook n etc.den i went 4 lunch. nw i m sittin on my chair facing my comp n typing out d inccidents of my life.(tat sounds weird) newayz i hav 2 nappy nw so goodbye adious my fellow readers!!

2008-09-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

well i had been reli busy yesterday n i had no time 2 blog what more eat.haizh..
newayz yesterday wz reli reli fun.durin sivics our teacher knew that we dun reli like sivics,so she approached us in a different bt common way.we were made 2 4 groups.there wz sha,nat,krity,veno,angy,molly n me n my group.each group were given a card consisiting of words bout pengguna,like bijaksana,cermat n etc etc.we were made 2 do sing a song wif dat words.sha wz our main singer ,me n veno we d specialist in special effects.d rest were professionals in suprano n backstage singers. we used d we will rock u tune.n begging for mercy by duffy.at d beggining we used d begining of so what lyrics n it went like...
na na nananaaa nanaaa anaaaa wohooo!! na na nananaaa anaaa wohooo!!
everyone wz all wohooo n lol during d wohooo part.wonder wat they were thinking=)
later wz lit n we were in d same group n we were interpretin d meaning of a few lines of a d poem,the way things are. n there wz this line"the thrill of being a shower curtain will soon pall"
rachels group suggested dat d kid want 2 b d shower curtain 4 d parents,n then she said tat maybe dat family wz too poor 4 shower curtains so d kid will b d s.curtain.n there wz this part when she said tat d kid showerz with d parents n later doesnt becoz he becomes shy,tat wz selz idea.tat gurl...lol
el wz short.then dad picked me.he wz on d phone all d way back home. i didnt feel like eatin so i ate a granola bar wif choclate milk n slept.then i woke up n studied.ate my dinner at 5pm.then studied sejarah.left 4 tution.cm bak bout 1010pm n studied sj n ad m3.slept at bout 12 30.
good nite books!!!!

2008-09-13T06:44:00.000-07:00