drowning
bt yet smilling
as
she breathes within the ocean of joy
free from pain and
the missing piece
from her heart
they are coming
just a few more days
i shall sink
to the bottom of this
ocean
=)

'its all in your hands' BULLCRAP!

sometimes there may be more than 2 choices
but at times
we are left with none
forced to do it
while others remain
guilt free
forced to fake a smile
forced to LIE!
forced to pretend
forced to be a puppet
the best is to remain silent
at least it wont kill any further
even if end of the day the monster that grows within
murders us
worst
than any possibilities
such a heinious crime
done
how can one draw a smile
while the other holds his guilt....

its just seems to be unfair...

sigh...
i had so many things planned after spm
but ntin turned out well
my life was supposed to be fun after spm
sigh...
its all upside down
i m deepressed
lonely
bored
sad
i deserve so much more
i dont deserve this
i worked my ass of during SPM
i deserve at least a break or a vacation
but nope i didnt get any of it
parents left me away to sweden
leaving me here all alone
with no one...
i hardly get out of the hse
stuck within the 4 walls for almost 2 weeks
and this is never wat i wanted
i want to be happy and have some fun
all i do is
house chores
computer
workout
and tv
wat a shitty life
and all of this again
within the 4 walls
sigh....
maybe its just sheer luck
dumped alone always
i wished i had some1 to listen to me
My frens are busy
all scattered here there and everywhere...
sigh...
words can't explain wat i feel
LONESOME!!
it sucks
drowned in deepression
i hate my life
and i m nt having a gud time at all!!
so if any1 thinks i m enjoying myself nope i m nt!
i hate it!
i rather sit for SPM again
at least i will have something to stray my mind off....
its just so unfair
i just want a family holiday....i want a holiday
this isn't it...
i need to distress
its all still in there...
i want it out
=(

after ages of sleep she's rose frm the bed of boredom and stress...

AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME....
I had all the time after SPM to blog but i guess i was just way too
LAZY!
events that happened after SPM

that nite
had a sorrtta party at moven peak
i had fun

then since then it was me and comp ooh and ofcourse my tv
watching hindi soaps...hehe

went out for movies
new moon
and
avatar

I HAD a gud time watchin both of the movies
eventhough new moon was draggy
but it was romantic and depressing


OH well life's pretty much boring
xmas
it was different this year
reli different

neway

new year is catching up
i have no idea wats in store during new year
i want to have some fun during new year
ooh well i will be missing my parents alot
they will only be back on the 2nd january 2010
='(
for the momment
right now
LIFE SUCKS!
I HATE IT
bUT ITS pretty OK at TimeS

i wonder wats in for me in 2010....
hmmm...
wonder never ceases...