drowning
bt yet smilling
as
she breathes within the ocean of joy
free from pain and
the missing piece
from her heart
they are coming
just a few more days
i shall sink
to the bottom of this
ocean
=)

'its all in your hands' BULLCRAP!

sometimes there may be more than 2 choices
but at times
we are left with none
forced to do it
while others remain
guilt free
forced to fake a smile
forced to LIE!
forced to pretend
forced to be a puppet
the best is to remain silent
at least it wont kill any further
even if end of the day the monster that grows within
murders us
worst
than any possibilities
such a heinious crime
done
how can one draw a smile
while the other holds his guilt....

its just seems to be unfair...

sigh...
i had so many things planned after spm
but ntin turned out well
my life was supposed to be fun after spm
sigh...
its all upside down
i m deepressed
lonely
bored
sad
i deserve so much more
i dont deserve this
i worked my ass of during SPM
i deserve at least a break or a vacation
but nope i didnt get any of it
parents left me away to sweden
leaving me here all alone
with no one...
i hardly get out of the hse
stuck within the 4 walls for almost 2 weeks
and this is never wat i wanted
i want to be happy and have some fun
all i do is
house chores
computer
workout
and tv
wat a shitty life
and all of this again
within the 4 walls
sigh....
maybe its just sheer luck
dumped alone always
i wished i had some1 to listen to me
My frens are busy
all scattered here there and everywhere...
sigh...
words can't explain wat i feel
LONESOME!!
it sucks
drowned in deepression
i hate my life
and i m nt having a gud time at all!!
so if any1 thinks i m enjoying myself nope i m nt!
i hate it!
i rather sit for SPM again
at least i will have something to stray my mind off....
its just so unfair
i just want a family holiday....i want a holiday
this isn't it...
i need to distress
its all still in there...
i want it out
=(

after ages of sleep she's rose frm the bed of boredom and stress...

AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME....
I had all the time after SPM to blog but i guess i was just way too
LAZY!
events that happened after SPM

that nite
had a sorrtta party at moven peak
i had fun

then since then it was me and comp ooh and ofcourse my tv
watching hindi soaps...hehe

went out for movies
new moon
and
avatar

I HAD a gud time watchin both of the movies
eventhough new moon was draggy
but it was romantic and depressing


OH well life's pretty much boring
xmas
it was different this year
reli different

neway

new year is catching up
i have no idea wats in store during new year
i want to have some fun during new year
ooh well i will be missing my parents alot
they will only be back on the 2nd january 2010
='(
for the momment
right now
LIFE SUCKS!
I HATE IT
bUT ITS pretty OK at TimeS

i wonder wats in for me in 2010....
hmmm...
wonder never ceases...

back to square one....

back to school again tmrw

back to waking up at 5.30 am

back to sleeping in class

back to late night stay ups

back to eye bags and dark circles

and the best part is...

back to seeing my frens and buds

back to the meeting in the upper hall with sel smashing her talent on the piano

back to chit chatting in the lower hall during the break

back to laughs

back to fun




how much it hurts at time sometimes its just worth everything
the tears and pain is nothing compared to the joy i will never get again
as form 5 is once in a lifetime

ghosh i feel so sad
i have 2 more months in smc and then its over for high school
i just wish i dont have to leave school
i will miss all my dear frens
sel,veno,bel,krity,lilo,este,pavitra,sab,shyama,ghij,and the rest
i will miss them for sure
they are a part of me
sigh....
life is so uncertain..i wonder will i ever see them again after high school

wat if one second one is laughing, joking,crying,and seem so alive
and next all we see is that person is gone...lying there with no expression
life is indeed a game
sometimes very cruel
sometimes fun
neways i m gonna treasure every moment with everyone around me
my family and pals
i cant wait for tmrw

had an outing with a few buds last thursday


li tng

este

n

ema

we went bowling

shopping

chit chat

ate

and home

pratically we had fun.
bowling was a new experience for me.and guess wat i got a strike!! woah!!
but it was sheer luck...the rest went to the 'longkang' hahaa!!
it was fun!


saturday


finally i bought my graduation dress.
actually dresses
i got 2 dress one is blue the other is black
but i plan on the blue the black is for later use...

wave....hit!!

*tired

*shopping for graduation

*unfortunately 10 stores didnt satisfy my mum

going around again next week

ghosh!!!

the uglier side of shopping!

a day out

well today i went out for lunch with shalu and a few buddies.myself,preyah,shobna,shalu,sasi,his cousin anand and bawanee...however bawanee didnt stay long.i guess she was rushing some where.

all of this people are like college dudes and dudette,so i kinda felt awkward in a way as i m the youngest there and the only one going to school.however it was not so bad hanging out with them.it was kinda fun and funny as well.

first preyah fetched me and shalu then we went to get shobby.then off we went to AB. it was funny as preyah was missed a turn.but we made to AB. There we met sasi and his cousin. the place was crowded. we ordered our food..the girls had nun and the dudes had rice.later bawanee joined in.then off she went.thx shalu aka for the treat!!=)

then we went to sidewalk ice-cream parlour.there again we ate. hahaa!! preyah's ice-cream was huge.the guys just joined in for bout 10 minutes. then again shalu treated me! haizh..aka aka...perhaps when i work i shall treat her too.well thats a long long way more.
then we went to shobby's hse.her house is so nice.and her hamsters are so cute.we were talking there for sometime then off we went back home.

it was fun to hang out with them.something different.
thx peeps! =)

well when i got home mum's long lost school fren came over from kl. mum was excited.again i ate.i had a slice of sandwich.then i got this horrid migrain i just went flat on my bad.then got up bout 7 and had my shower.then i ate again!!

ghosh i have been eating so much today!
neways maybe my body needs energy or watsoever.
neways wen i get some time i will be uploading the pics from 'smitha'

till then i have 'FASHION' awaiting me.its a movie.

going out with shalu and a few buds of hers.


to AB(anada bhavan)


since its the 9 god festival so thats the only place we cn get some vegetarian food.hopefully.


cant wait to see her.






had a bad dream

scary

it was about dinosaurs invasion at my taman

so damn freaky

it seemed so real

i got up at 8 because of it

ishh..

the past break..

looks like this raya holidays i will be going no where.but it doesnt really matter at all because when my sister came back last july my entire family went for a long vacation to penang,kelantan and camerons twice....all in one month!
well i sure did miss lots of tuitions and school.but it was fun.i really had an awesome time with my family and i really got super attached to my sis..it was a venry nice feeling..but its not like we werent close b4 this..its just that nw we cn talk bout the real stuff,i guess coz i m 17 nw. well here's some pic's from camerons,penang and kelantan =)

yay!!

finally!!



the holidays is back!!

shalu's return to ipoh adds an extra tinge of excitement!!

its been long since i saw her...ever since she left to JB to pursue her career

well for this raya holidays
i plan to do a few things


1. hang out with my buds

2.hang out with shalu

3.hunt for a graduation dress

4.revise my studies

5.learn to cook a proper meal.

6.spend some time with my bed and my blanket
i've got to recover all those lost sleeps...


AND

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL MUSLIMS!!

???smoking???

well its just a thought that hit me a few days ago,it started with this advertisment i saw on tv..it was very sad and dissapointing too.I as an anti-smoking person went deep into that advertisment,but i didnt have the time to blog about it as i was tied up with my exams.

when i see a person smoking...the first thing that hits my mind is...eeeewww...
smoking isnt just bad for health,it also ruin a persons image and they leave a bad impression of themselves on others.

to me..i just hate smokers..even the 'once in the blue moon' type
smoking doesnt just affect the person doing it but it has a even more tremendous effect on the people around smokers,second-hand smokers suffer from others habit.this just doesnt seem right.its so unfair.and this is all to be blamed to the smokers...don't they ever realise that smoking isnt just injurious to health...it is also an inderect form of disrespect towards god....god gave us life for us to appreciate it and enjoy it...not to smoke the hell out and burn ur own life...

despite the numerous advertisments and warnings about smoking...the smokers never seem to get that fact.

i m not discriminating or jeering at anyone...its just a friggin bad habit...it leads to no where..there is no light at the end of the tunnel for smokers.



.

.

finally!!

TRIALS IS FINALLY OVER!!

HOORRRRAYYY!!


MORE SLEEPING HOURS


MORE COMP


STILL GOT TO STUDY.....

feelings....

i feel damn lazy
well maybe its because of the never ever ending exams....ghosh!!
i have 2 more killer papers...chemi and phys
i just want to get over it asap!!

neways my misery aint going to end after the trials
it will only end after the 'REAL DEAL'
I am really keen in doing well in my spm
i need to do well
because i want satisfaction
i want to see how far i cn actually go
wats my level
i m as good as other says(family and frens)
well this actually spurrs me to do well

and i have no idea why i m crapping

maybe i m feeling a little crappy to000...

feeling guilty too
for spending the entire morning sleeping like a pig!!
talking bout that
i didnt study then so i got to go now
later bloggie...

footsteps of my soul...

my sis just left 2 russia.and i m missing her a lot.to top it off,my cousin,shalu has also left to JB to work in EY as an accountant....feel so lonely without them....well at least i m occupied with studies...having my trials nw
so far it was good i finished 5 papers last week..i have 4 more to go....boy oh boy...i can't wait for it to be over...at least then i will get some real sleep and rest.

i miss my blog its been so long since i got it updated....
bye bloggie

signing off

happy 17th !!

the sheperds pie...
in davids dine...
me and sis..and the nachos...
camwhoring in the car..lol
my gift form bel,krity,veno and sha
well 5th august which was last wednesday..was my b'day!! i had a b lasting birthday...it was different... i was so overjoyed on my bday!

my buddies gave me
a scheaffer mechanic pencil with my name engraved on it!! awesomeness tq...veno,bel.krity and sha!
my dear lilo gave me a lulu belle hand bag..it was lovely thx lilo!!

my mum gave me two body glove tops...i love it...cz i choose it in penang..haha!! but still she got it 4 me!
my cousin...shalu aka gave me a pair of gorgeous earings frm vincci!! i love it aka!! tq!

my aunty gave me a bracelet...it was really nice... my bro and sis still owes me something..grrr..lol!


well right after school i went bak and in the evening bout 6 we left our hse to the temple...well u c..my b'day was an auspicious day..as it was a 'pornami' full moon and the day i was actually born..so my mum decided to have a prayer in the temple...all of us were there..but my dad wasn't..he was still stuck with work...but he did make it for dinner at david's dine right after the prayers...my..my.. the food was good..typical homemade western burger and scrumptious food...emmmm....tasty!!

mj!michael joseph jackson rest in peace...

well at first when my mum told me that mj aka the king of pop passed away i was like so wateva la..

but then after watching tv and reading the news paper that was just filled with mj's pic and history i felt really sad..i was never a fan of mj..but after watching his dance moves...woah!he is an awesome dancer wat more a singer..

in school me and my buds were talking and discussing bout mj and we realised that, we had an exteremly wrong perception of him

first of all he did plastic surgery cz he got 3rd degree burns while doing a pepsi add secondly he bleached himself cz he had a kind of skin disease that leaves white patches all over his skin and it affected his perfomances and thirdly he is so not a child molester the kid whom claimed to be molested was asked to say so cz apparently tat kids dad wanted money and mj paid 15 million just to settle the whole probe.. and mj loves his kid!why the hell he wants to kill his child...he just wanted to show his kid to everyone..and he build a whole park just for the kids....

well i m kinda guilt ridden cz i held on a tottaly wrong perception bout mj.. sorry mj...

and after mj left this world more people are understanding him..but wats the point he's gone.. well he is sure to rock and roll in heaven! live on mj!

something that caught my heart!

loving you is like breathing how can i stop?

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.


My heart longs for you, my soul dies for you,
my eyes cry for you, my empty arms reach out for you.

Love Is Running Into His Arms
Colliding With His Heart
And Exploding Into His Soul

There is a saying, 'Out of sight, out of mind.'
But how can that be true?
You are not here, yet I can't get you out of my mind.

No one is perfect
until you fall in love with them.


why the sudden rush of love quotes?
its not as if i m in love..but i see it as a beautiful thing
its not a thing,
there's more to it..its like a middle person that connects two hearts to become one soul.
i see love everyday

in my school
i love all my buds they are my other family

in my home
my parents shower their love in the form of love,care and protection

on the road
i always see almost 3 to 4 pairs of couples a day..mostly teens


pratically..love comes in different forms..it depends on one's perceptive to see what is love all about.
love isnt bout having a mate..
love matters when u have someone to really care about and they do the same back to u..it doesnt mean that person has to be the special dude or duddete..